Why does god hate me? What a pain!
by BlindOtakuWriter
Summary: "Why does god hate me?" That was the question that wondered in Saiki's mind when Teruhashi was around. One night, god calls upon Saiki's soul to answer his query. In what kind of situations will our favorite psychic get involved? Will Teruhashi succeed on getting an "oh wow" from Saiki? Step right up and find out!
1. Chapter one: Prolog

Heloooooooooo!!! BlindOtakuWriter here! How are you'all? I am jumping straight into being a FanFic writer with this crazy story of mine. Who is the unfortunate victim? *cough cough* I mean... Who is the lucky winner chicken dinner? Well, non other than our favorite pink-haired anti-social teenage psychic: Kusuo Saiki himself!!!

Well without further due, let's read!

Oh, one more thing, sorry for making this chapter so short. I promise to bring you longer chapters as I get used to this CONFUSING AS HELL APP.

Saiki's P.O.V.

Hello, my name is Kusuo Saiki, and I'm a... Wait, why am I doing this? You already know this by watching the anime or reading the manga, don't you?

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah, narration. I have to deal with a lot of

noosenses in my life.

"Hey buddy, wanna go get some ramen?" There's one of them, Rikki Nendou. Whatever, I'll just pretend I didn't hear him and keep walking.

(glow) "Oh, are my perfect eyes deceiving me? Am I seeing Saiki right in front of me?" Unfortunately, no they're not; and yes, you are. Oh, what a pain! I have to think of something to get Teruhashi of my back.

You know her, Kokomi Teruhashi, the perfect girl, an artist's dream come true, god's favorite angel.

For some reason, she's been strangely infatuated with me ever since the beginning of the school year. .

Thank god I'm walking on a crowded street. I can blend into the crowd and turn invisible when she's certain that she lost sight of me.

"Huh? Where did Saiki go? I thought I saw him in front of me about 30 seconds ago. Anyway, he's not leaving until I hear an oh wow from him!"

Good, I think I lost her.

Okay, as I was saying... "Oh, hey Saiki what are you doing here? I'm buying some supplies for the temple, you mind if I tag along?" (Tap) (Poof) You idiot!!!

And there's one more nuisance, Reita Toritsuka, a medium psychic. He's able to see ghosts and talk to them. By now you may also realize he can see everything that is invisible. That certainly left me exposed to Teruhashi.

"Oh, there he is. I didn't know he had company though. Oh well, doesn't matter, I will get an oh wow from him today!"

No you won't! (Teleport) Ah, home sweet home.

"Kuu, are you home? Dinner is ready. I made you some breaded pork chops with fried rice and for dessert, moca coffee jelly!" And there's my mom, Kurumi Saiki. The sweetest woman I know. She's the reason I haven't used my powers for evil. Anyway, I think I'm not sticking to the story, am I?

After I ate my dinner, I went up to my room and started thinking about how some of my escapes fail whenever Teruhashi is around. I keep thinking and thinking, but I don't have so much of a concrete answer. Or at least I didn't, until...

Wait, why do I feel lighter all of a sudden? Why am I going up? Why don't I have control of my body? What is happening? I can't explain this!

"Saiki!" I hear a voice booming from everywhere. "Saiki!" The voice spoke again. Out of nowhere, an intense glow filled my field of vision. One minute later, a bodiless entity manifested in front of my very eyes. Could it be... God? Is that really you?


	2. Chapter 2: Divine Encounter

Guess who? It's me, BlindOtakuWriter!!!

Well, You might be wondering "why the update between the first and second chapter was released in such a short notice" Well, that is because I've got some prep to do for college, and I want to give you all this new chapter as a bonus one for such a heartwarming welcoming to FanFiction. One review and one follow already? Oh wow! *Teruhashi pops out of nowhere* "Yet another one can't help to say an oh wow because of my astonishing beauty. It is obvious, is it not?" Wait a minute, what is Teruhashi doing here? Oh, well. FYI Teruhashi, I did not give that oh wow to you; and even though your beauty is striking in many ways, I would not be able to give you your so much desired "oh wow" because of my blind... Oh, fuck it, who am I kidding? OH WOW!!!"

"See? It wasn't so bad, was it? Anyway BOW, I've got one more question for you, when are you going to make Saiki go 'oh wow' for me?" That, Teruhashi dearest, is clasified information. Well, let's not delay this anymore. Let's read!

'What a pain!' Thoughts by Saiki. "'Dark Reunion/Do it/food/I love you honey/Etc'" Thoughts by everyone else. "Hey Saiki." Spoken dialogs. (Boom) Sounds. [I am god] God's thoughts (By the way, god will only be heard by Saiki in his mind)

Chapter 2: Encounter with everyone's father... Not Odin

Insert Line Break Here:

Saiki's P.O.V

Previously on why does god hate me? What a pain!... No, you know what? If you want to know it so bad, why don't you go to the first chapter? Anyway, where did the author of this fanfic leave on? Oh, I remember now.

'God, is that you?' [Yes, I am god indeed Saiki. You might want to know the reason behind the sudden summon of your soul to the heavens, do you not?] 'Yes, why was I brought here in such a short notice and without even the slightest hint of warning?' [The answer is not as dificult to find out as you may think it is Kusuo Saiki. matter-of-factly, the reason why I brought you to heaven is regarding Kokomi Teruhashi and the constant question you ask to yourself. You have always assumed that I was resentful or hateful towards you; however, your statement differs from what the real truth is.] 'Yes, I indeed asked myself that question from time to time. I yet cannot conprehend the reason why my attempts to get away from Teruhashi are in vane whenever she is around. I am certain it is because of your favoritism towards her; after all, she's your most perfect creation, is she not?' Now, you might notice that there's a lot of dialog and not a lot of movement descriptions. Well, that is because I'm a floating soul, that's all I'm doing at this point. Now that that's out of the way, let us resume my conversation with god. [She's my most perfect creation indeed; however, you are my most powerful creation Saiki. Therefore, I consider wisely to match my two most perfect creations together for the rest of your mortal existences.] 'No way in heaven, hell, earth, or any other existential plane! I refused!' I exclaimed perplexed by the situation that was unfolding before me.

[You cannot refuse to my designs just because you can. You must have a valid reason for such way of thinking] 'I just think love is superficial, a concept that does not exist for me. It is very trivial for me to think about it. To tell you the truth, I don't think I will be able to fall in love with Teruhashi even if I wanted to.' [Very well, I have a little challenge for you Saiki. I will give you exactly a month to prove that you won't fall in love with Kokomi Teruhashi. If you manage to not fall in love, you will be granted with inmortality.] 'I get it, but what is going to happen with me if I fall in love with Teruhashi?'

[You will simply return to heaven to remain there for the rest of the eternity. Does that fit you fairly Kusuo Saiki?]

'There is no time to think about it. I am certain I can win this challenge of yours god. Therefore, I accept it!'

[Very well, the best luck to you Saiki... You will certainly need it. Now, it is time to return you back to earth, it is almost time for you to go to school. You do not want to miss it, do you? Oh, I almost forgot, the challenge starts today Until we meet again Kusuo Saiki]

Huh? Wait, wasn't I in heaven about a minute ago? Was this a dream? No it is not, I can feel it.

Oh, what a pain! I now have to deal with a divine entity that wants to pair me up with Teruhashi at all costs. That is not going to be an easy task for you god, of that I'm certain.

"Kuu, are you up? It's time for breakfast." Well, it's time for me to start the challenge. (Sniff Sniff) After I get some coffee jelly.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnd, donzo!!! What did you guys think? Did you like it? I hope you did.

Anyway, I am thinking of puting an OC into the story. It is going to be a girl who is going to be like a spy from god to make sure Saiki actually falls in love with KT. So, what name should I name it? I'll put some names down on here. All you have to do, is vote for one of them. The name with the most quantity of votes will win.

Name 1: Yuii Yoshikawa.

Name 2: Rinko Yamamoto.

Name 3: Suzuka Sasagawa.

Final name: Hinako Kamikobe.

I will be checking your answers and reviews regularly. Expect a new update by next week.

By the way, I want to thank thehappy for being the first one to leave me a review. It really meant a lot for me. Once again, thank you, thehappy.

Until we meet again folks.

BlindOtakuWriter... out!!!


	3. Chapter 3: Teruhashi At First Sight

Hello! You already know who it is, BlindOtakuWriter.

Alright, I was going to publish the next update within the next week. But, since I finished college prep and registration, I decided to get on with another chapter. You're welcome.

I just talk too much, don't I? I hate to make you wait, so let's read already!

'What a pain!' Saiki's thoughts.

"'Look, we're thinking'" Thoughts by everyone else.

"Hey Saiki." Spoken dialogs.

[This is god] God's thoughts, (This is likely one of the few times you'll ever hear from him).

(Boom) Onomatopoeias.

Insert imaginary line break here.

CHAPTER 3: Teruhashi At First Sight... Or more?

Saiki's P.O.V.

Saiki Household, 7:15 A.M.

Oh, hello reader, I didn't see you there. As you can read, I'm having breakfast. You know, the usual japanese breakfast a person like me usually has: fried fish, steamed rice, and how can I forget about the most essential food item to complement it, COFFEE JELLY. Is my obsession towards this dessert perhaps a bit too obvious?

But, silly me, you're not here to see my ramblings of the perfect breakfast, do you? You're here to see my ramblings of how I am going to win god's challenge.

Alright, I will give you all a brief explanation of why I might, will, and cannot fall in love with Teruhashi. I don't believe in love. Plus, I can't look at a person without seeing this: (Insert imaginary picture of a human body from underneath the skin)

See? Now you know. Oh, I almost forgot, I have to wear this lenses because of my petrifying gaze.

Try to imagine Teruhashi attempting to look at me in the eyes without my glasses... Bad idea, right? Now you know.

[Oh, Saiki]. Is it just me, or I just heard god speaking to me telepathically?

[No, it is not your imagination Kusuo Saiki. It is me, god. I apologize for interrupting your narration. I couldn't help to listen in. Therefore, I decided to give you a hand].

'There's no need, plus, this will make the story flow. On the other hand, what exactly do you have in mind?'

[I am going to nullify your x-ray vision and petrifying gaze. At least for the amount of time this challenge of ours will last, how does that sound Kusuo Saiki?]

'What a pain. Whatever, it's not like that is going to change my mind about Teruhashi all of a sudden. Alright, do what you must.'

[Very well]. (Glow)

"Kuu, Kuu, are you awake? Your glasses fell of your face. Kuu?"

[My deed here is done. See you soon, Kusuo Saiki].

Well, that was weird, wasn't it?

Wait, did my mom say my glasses fell of my face? Hmm, I wish there was a way to prove if god told the truth. Ah, look there's Amp.

"'Hey you, it's been a while since we've seen each other human. Hey what are you doing? What's with that look you're giving me?'"

What a pain! It works, I don't see its insides anymore. However, I really want to petrify it. So he stops rambling for at least a day.

"'Hey, do not ignore me human! Yes, you, the one with the pink hair and antennae, I'm talking to you!!!'"

Anyway, I already lost too much time in here. I got to go.

"Kuu, your glasses."

"I don't need them anymore. Goodbye mom."

Why do I feel that my father is going to run down the stairs and yell, "Kusuo! Kusuo! I'm running late! Quick, teleport me to my job!"

"He already left papa."

"What? Nooooooooooooo!!!"

Whatever, I'm running late too. (Teleport)

I really don't need to explain about how matsuzaki yells at everyone else except me. So, let's skip into the classroom part, shall we?

PK Academy, Class 3, 8:05 A.M.

Everytime I enter this classroom the same things happen over and over.

"Oh hey buddy, are you busy today? Would you be able to get some ramen after school with me?"

Oh, trust me that's not all.

"You always wanna go get ramen Nendou, that's precisely what Saiki doesn't want to do." Wow, I really didn't expect that coming from Kaito.

"What he really wants is to see my new anti Dark Reunion hide out." Of course, I should have seen that coming.

"Since when do you have an opinion you pipsqueak"" "Bla bla bla bla bla bla!!!" What a pain, do they ever get along?

Anyway, when's the author of this fanfic going to get Teruhashi back into the fanfic?

A/N: Just wait Saiki. God's perfect angel making spectacular entrance in 3, 2, 1...

(Glow) "Good morning everyone." Great, now the male population will say something along the lines of: "Oh wow! You're looking as pretty and radiant as always Teruhashi." or, "Is there something we can do for a beautiful peace of art such as yourself?"

What a pain, I don't even need to lift up my head off the desk to see it, because I already know.

Wait, now that I remember, god removed my x-ray vision as well, did he not? Let me take a quick glance just to see what all the attention Teruhashi gets is all about.

"'oh, there's Saiki. As expressionless as always. How can he recist the charms of a perfect girl like me? I definitely need to get an oh wow from him even if it's the last thing I do!'"

Come down, if it makes you feel better, I'm going to look at you for a little bit. Okay, here I go!

Trademark gaze in 3, 2, 1...

"'Wait, he's looking at me. My goodness, I can't believe this, his eyes are wide opened! Is it normal for him to react that way?'"

Wha... Eto... Er... Oh damn!

This cannot be! This is not Kokomi Teruhashi. She can't be that magestically beautiful! Waitt, what am I even saying? What am I even thinking? I need to...

"Buddy, where are you going? Why are you so red? Do you have a fever?"

"I need to go!"

I need to run, if I make it to the restroom, I will be able to teleport home without being seen.

"Saiki, don't run! If you're that sick, we can take you to the nurse. You'll have time to see my hide out later, but let me help you!"

"'Could it be that he ran because of me? Did he finally realized how pretty and perfect I am?' But wait, why did he say oh damn instead of oh wow? Don't worry Saiki, there will be more chances for me to keep trying, you just wait!'"

You might have won the battle Teruhashi, but I'll win the war! (teleport)

Saiki household, 8:20 A.M.

"Kuu, why are you here so early? Weren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"I had a really bad allergy today."

"Oh, kuu, I'll be back with the pills. Please, don't blow up the house while I'm gone, k?"

Now I know how much of a dangerous weapon Teruhashi's beauty and charms can be. I definitely need to take caution against that. Next time, I will be prepared for you, Kokomi Teruhashi.

Hey, it's me, Saiki. Since it's Friday and the author didn't want to wake up, I will speak on his behalf.

First of all, hope you enjoyed this chapter. The next update will come when BOW feels in the mood to write.

Also, the votings for the OC are still open. Refer back to chapter 2 to read the names to choose from, and leave your favorite on the review box below. Don't forget to help BOW by letting him know what he needs to improve.

That's it for me. If you excuse me, I'm going to get some coffee jelly.

Kusuo Saiki and BlindOtakuWriter... Out!!!


	4. Quick Update

Hello everyone! I'm back!

I want to start this little update by explaining the motive of my one two month absence after publishing continuously for a week.

You see, I was preparing to go to college and stuff, but due to a series of circumstances I will not be able to start up this semester. So, I will either wait till summer, or the upcoming fall.

However, not everything is lost. I am taking a course to become a trained oral interpreter to help my community.

Although this sounds like there will be no time to upload new chapters, let me tell you, that's where you are all mistaken.

The course takes place every Saturday, and for six hours every week. Pardon my redundancy, but it might as well sound extenuating; however, it will give me more time to upload more chapters as often as I see fit. My point is that I am here to stay.

Chapter four will be up by tomorrow or the next day. Take it as my apology gift for leaving you in the dark for so long.

Also, clarifying the point of my Fanfic, Saiki will fall in love with Teruhashi regardless of the what is stated in the manga or the anime. Even if Saiki never did fall in love with her, it really does not matter. In fact, the name of this website is FANFICTION. It is a website where fanatics of Anime/Manga, Cartoons, Comics, Games, Movies, Plays, TV Shows, etc, can let their imagination do the talking. That is exactly what I am doing in my story.

I want to finish this little update by profoundly thanking those who have favorited or followed me or the story. It truly puts a smile on my face and gives me the motivation to keep writing. Once again, thanks!!!

BlindOtakuWriter... Out!!!


	5. Chapter 4: Problematic Equation

Hi hi hi! Some of you know who it is. But, for those who do not, I'm BlindOtakuWriter aka BOW.

What do you know? Here comes another chapter fresh out of the oven for all of you readers.

This time, the protagonist of this story will be Kokomi Teruhashi. I bet a certain pink-haired psychic is not going to like this one bit.

Also, I've got the name for the OC. Her name will be... (Insert drumroll here)

Name 3, Suzuka Sasagawa!!!

If you're lucky, you all might get a little sneak peak of Suzuka's personality. Also, we'll be refering to her as Suu.

As always, leave a review, follow, and fave.

Chapter 4: TeruhashiNew Ally = 'What a pain!'

Insert Line break here.

Teruhashi's P.O.V.

Teruhashi household, 5:00 P.M.

Hi, you know who I am, right? But of course you do! How can you all forget a perfect girl such as myself?

I wish I could be talking about how perfect I am and how I am god's favorite angel. However, a wave of distress is rolling over me.

You all might be wondering, "How can a perfect girl be distressed about something?"

Well, to tell you the truth it's not something that is making me feel so frustrated and defeated... It is a someone!!!

His name is non other than Kusuo Saiki! Yes, that pink-haired boy has turned my world upside-down, and I can't stand it... I just can't!!!

Usually, everyone in the school would drop on their knees whenever they see me. A constant flurry of "oh wows" would bombard my ears feeling me with different emotions; ranging from joyfulness, annoyance, or indifference depending on my mood.

However, Saiki is the only one who has not given me an "oh wow" ever since I saw him for the first time... And that is a very long wait!!!

Oh, but what am I doing? Am I striking as a girl desperate for some attention? Oh, wow! I guess I let my emotioni out a bit too much didn't I? Oh, well, at least you know my situation. So, here lies the problem. No matter what I do, nothing seems to work to get Saiki's attention! Everyone, and I mean everyone, has at least given me an "oh wow"... except for him. Oh, well, guess I'll just take a walk to clear my mind off of things.

Tokyo's streets, 5:30 P.M.

As I am walking through the streets of the city, I notice that as always, the crowd goes crazy when I walk among them. As much as I'd like to reciprocate their feeling of content towards me in a perfectly elegant and joyous way, I do not really feel in the mood for any of their pleasantries. All of that affection is pointless when you don't have what it takes to make a pink-haired Saiki go all "oh wow" for me.

But, coming to think of it, he acted strangely this morning.

Let's recap a bit, shall we?

When I entered the classroom, the expected barrage of complements started filling my ears. Usually, I would expect Saiki to be with his head down on his desk with an I don't care expression plastered across his face. However, it was not the case today.

My eyes found themselves locked onto Saiki's for a split second.

As if that wasn't surprising enough, I saw Saiki's almost always sealed mouth opening to mutter something... Not what I expected to hear though. "Oh... Oh hell."

After that, I froze in shock, as I gazed at the now sprinting Saiki, which at this point was half way through the hallway.

After that, I lost sight of him. Later on, Kaito and Nendou told me that he went to the restroom because he was feeling sick. That definitely made my day... Not positively though.

I still don't understand how that pinkhaired antisocial framed-glass wearing antenae-head... Can get me so unfocused. It is as if when thinking about him or anything related to him disconnected me from the real wo... "Watch out!!!" Wha? "Can't you see where you're going or something!?"

(A/N: Actually... I am the one who should be addressed with that question. lol)

"Girl, I'm talking to you for goodness sake! Hey! Snap out of it already, will ya?!!!"

What is this girl doing? Is she actually yelling at me?

"Girl, stop mumbling to yourself, of course I am yelling at you. You almost got turned into part of the asphalt! Are you in some sort of trance state or something? Does it have to anything to do with that Saiki you were yapping about for the past 5 minutes?"

Wait a moment, was I speaking that loud? and who does this orangette think she is to yell at me and get into my personal life in such way?

"Ahem, I am still here, you know. Oh, and FYI, this orangette is the key to your success you airheaded tweet!"

"I'm not an airheaded tweet! And what are you even talking about? The key to my success?"

"I'm gonna help you silly... I mean, it's not that I would like to see you happy or anything. It's just, mmm, er, aaah, I just don't have anything else to do okay?" (A/N: Tsundere).

"You want to help me with my problem? But I don't even know you."

"Oh, well, just consider me an ally of source. Regarding my name, guess I haven't introduce myself, have I? I am... Suzuka Sasagawa, A.K.A The heart bonder!!! Do you like my nickname? Huh, huh?"

"The... heart... bonder? What kind of ridiculous nickname is that?"

"It is my ridiculous nickname. Besides, my reputation and resume speak for themselves. Check it out"

"Now, let's see here... Wait, wait, wait... This page is from a cookbook."

"Oh, is it? *throws it far away while glass breaks* Aha! I got it!"

"Okay, let me see now... Wait, wait, wait... This one is a blank peace of paper."

"Oh, you see, er, mmm, it's just that... I don't have a resume okay?! Happy now!? The point here is that I'm going to help you with this Kunio Saiki boy, got it!?"

"Sure, why not. Thanks, I guess?"

Yeah yeah, whatever. Anyway, I will see you tomorrow at PK, k?"

"Hold the phone, you will be a student at PK Academy? How come you didn't tell me about it from the very beginning!?in

"Oops, let's blame it on short term memory, shall we?"

"Oh, my."

"Oh, look at the time, I gotta sprint or father is going to be upset. Goodbye, Kokomi Teruhashi. *hahahahahaha... cough, cough cough* I think I swallowed a fly."

"Wait, no, don't..."

After she sprinted away, I stood in shock as a few questions surged on my mind: How did she know Saiki's name? I could tell she mispronounced it intentionally. My second question is, how did she even know my name? I don't recall giving her that info. Oh, well. No matter, I have an ally. Soon, you will be mine, kusuo Saiki. *mwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa...* Oh, sorry. Aaah, emotions?

[Omake: chilling... down my spine]

Saiki's residence, 5:40, P.M.

"Kuu, are you okay? Is the movie scary?"

Hmmm, for some reason I felt that my instincts were telling me to teleport as far from here as possible. Wonder what it was, and why am I still shaking?

"Kuu? Kuu? Papa, bring the EDA..."

A/N: It was a blast for me to write this chapter for all of you readers. So, I hope you appreciate it.

Big shout outs to the new followers. Without you, I wouldn't have the motivation to keep on writing this crazy story of mine.

A bigger shout out to ignaci0, for always reviewing on every published chapter, you rock my dude! Hope you still like my story as it progresses.

The next chapter will be up in about a week. So stay tuned for that one.

Poof* Wait just a moment... Would you be able to explain to me the reason of my sudden chilling?

Oh, Saiki, that is for me to know and for you to find out.

What a pain! Since I have nothing to do, do you mind if I help you with the out-tro? Nah, be my guess captain hopper.

Saiki and BlindOtakuWriter... Out!!! *teleport*


End file.
